The Tall & Skinny Of It All

Lots and lots of questions surrounding why you're reading this right now. I know. What happened to the LAFF page? Why did you leave? What has happened between then and now? Why did you come back?  Why the rebrand instead of just relaunching LAFF, and what is the direction of the new blog? Well, you've got questions, and I've got answers!!

What happened to the LAFF page?
If you are new here, and you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can just skip this section if you would like and carry on as usual. The original LAFF (Life As The Fat Friend) blog facebook page is still intact, but has been deactivated for awhile now. With the publishing and launch of this new blog, the old facebook page will be republished TEMPORARILY, and only to redirect people who are still interested in following my story to the new page and blog address. The original LAFF blog is gone entirely, due to an ethical conflict of interest with the person who was hosting the website for me. Long story short, my site is no longer hosted on those servers, and my content was lost to me in the disagreement. It is what it is, and I really don't intend to dwell on it or discuss it further. So there's that.

Why did you leave?
Even if you're new here, this is probably a good place to start, because it's a nice back-history and part of my story.

Why I left is a multifaceted answer. I'm going to try to simplify it as much as possible, beginning with the two easiest answers and the ones that hold the least weight, and moving towards the more weighted answer that is a much longer story.

At the time that I decided to deactivate the LAFF facebook page, a series of events all aligned that sort of pushed me towards that decision. First and foremost, I had the conflict of interest that I mentioned above with the web-hosting of my domain. When the blog itself came down, I knew I would have to at the very least restart the blog from scratch, and at the time, the way that happened was so hurtful that I wasn't really sure I wanted to address questions about why the old website and blog was gone and a new one with the same name was posted in its place. At the same time, I made a quiet exit with multiple affiliations with other brands. One particular brand, who shall remain nameless (someone needs to be the one who maintains a certain level of professionalism here.. might as well be me), took my exit extremely personally. The owner of that brand launched a sort of personal attack/vendetta against me, and began to manipulate statuses I posted on my personal page to be passive-aggressive towards the brand and as personal attacks. Many people were pulled in as the owner presented a victim mentality, and what was truly not personal, as I had actually left affiliations with four other brands at the same time, was just turned into a grossly dramatic mess. I went into total shut down/avoidance mode for a few months, just to try to wait out the crazy fallout.

But those were both secondary to the REAL problem. Long story short, as it's really going to need to be a post all its own, I started experiencing weight gain for no apparent reason whatsoever. I started trying desperately to get a handle on it, and nothing was working the way that science and everything I knew told me that it should.  The unexplained weight gain continued and came to a head during a several month battle with sickness that was the scariest thing I have ever faced in my entire life. At the end, I came out with one less organ, and a brand spanking new celiac disease diagnosis. Fast forward from mid-May to today, and here we are, writing this blog post.

What has happened between then and now?
I'm going to talk a little more about this in the next blog post, but really the summary looks a little like this: I started gaining weight back, unexplained. I gained back a little more than 60 pounds. I got STUPID sick. I got diagnosed with celiac disease, which explained sooooo much. I quit the gluten. I got the gluten withdrawal hangovers. I got better. I dropped weight like it was nothing. I ended up back where I started before I started gaining. I gained a fresh new perspective on life, on what my place is in this world, and the type of impact that I want to make. I grew in so many ways in such a short time, and I'm not sure I can ever put into words how much differently I think today than I did even as short as a year ago.

Why did you come back?  
Plain and simple, I'm meant to tell my story. I have had a really, really ridiculous number of friends and acquaintances tell me that they miss my blog posts, statuses and the things I did through the old LAFF page. And honestly, I really kinda miss sharing them. I strongly feel that my story, my perspective, and my voice is one that can encourage others. It can give hope to someone who has lost it - because I was in those shoes in so many ways. I've had so much of a whirlwind past few months. Some of it has been amazing. Some of it has been bad. Some of it has been VERY bad. But all of it made me realize I'm just not living to my full potential, and I need to be doing this. Even if only one person hears my voice and feels validated or wants to make a change, that's one person who made this all worth it. I gave up on my story too soon. I allowed myself to become defeated during a time that I should have pushed through and risen above. I failed, but it's because I failed and I just couldn't shake that feeling that I needed to try again that I know that the failure was just a necessary step on the path to ultimate success. LAFF served an amazing purpose. It put into motion the things that got me to where I am right now. I have a much richer life because of what was accomplished through that blog. And now, I'm ready to take it to the next level, and let it drive where it was always meant to go.

Why the rebrand instead of just relaunching LAFF, and what is the direction of the new blog?
I made the decision to rebrand because as I mentioned above, I'm just not on the same path that I was one when I launched that page in 2011. I am no longer defining myself as the fat friend. I'm also no longer defining myself as purely a weight loss story. Am I losing weight and working towards a healthier life? Abso-fricken-lutely. Am I doing it in a proper, sustainable way that is specifically tailored for me? Yes. Does that mean I'm going to be telling everyone that you need to go gluten free/count calories/do a certain program/go be a runner? NO. So what exactly am I doing here, then?

When considering exactly what part of my story I felt I needed to share the most, I became pretty hung up and frustrated. I'm not a health and fitness only person. Health, fitness and weight loss is part of my story. It's not who I am.

I'm a mom of a bunch o' kids in sports and school activities, running around from occupational therapy to football practice to cheer competitions. I'm a wife of a paramedic, who works really long and dumb hours that keep him away from our family way more than he wants to be. I'm a Team Leader with Origami Owl Custom Jewelry. I'm a chicken mommy, who also happens to have cats, dogs, a goat and rumors of a teacup pig joining the crew soon. I'm a bit of a hippy, who really does live the love everyone, be kinder than necessary lifestyle - there's just something to be said about being the change you want to see. Keeping in line with that, I'm working really hard to get back to a simpler life. So I do a lot of crafting, DIY, artsy stuff, baking, cooking, sewing, painting, blah de blah stuff. And I try to keep things as close to natural as possible, buying local organics when we can get them, and using essential oils as my first line of defense on mild illnesses and as part of the aforementioned crafty/DIY stuff. I'm a huge foodie, who refuses to let the absence of gluten make my diet lackluster. I'm an organization spaz - but don't tell that to the mess in my floors on any given Tuesday. Basically, I'm a great big ball of awesome that consists solely of a giant beautiful mess. And I don't want to have to be limited by myself to only sharing one small part of who I am with you. Yes, I will still be sharing about my weight loss journey and all that is happening with it. However, it is all aspects of my life that make my story complete, and I cannot wait to share it with you.

It's going to be an amazing journey, because Deanna said so.