Tipsy in Target

Target is already my perfect little Land of Mommy Escapism. They seduce us with their clearance sections, adorable home décor that you never knew you needed, and clothing that is sure to dazzle at the next PTO meeting. Plus, who can pass up that glorious two hour wander away from the hum drum world of sippie cups and toy explosions with nothing but the sound of a squeaky shopping cart wheel and light music in the background? It truly is a little slice of heaven.

As if Target could possibly seduce us more than they already do, with their kombucha selection and Starbucks counters, they have recently announced a location that is slated to open in the windy city by October that has applied for not one, but two liquor licenses – one to sell packaged alcohol, and one to serve beer, wine, and cocktails.

Wait. Read that again. Target wants to have a bar in their store. A bar, people. Let that sink in. So now, for those of you lucky enough to live within an hour of Chicago (or twelve hours - because really, how far is too far to drive to a Target that serves booze?), you can head to Target as per usual and come home with that perfect ceramic porcupine to fill that hole in your mantle, laundry detergent, and snacks for the kids to have after school - all while having a glass of Pinot Noir or three.

I imagine, should this catch on and roll out nationwide, that a Target shopping trip will now look like this: 

• Make a shopping list consisting of mascara, dish soap, and college ruled paper.
• Drive to Target.
• Grab a lovely glass of Pinot Noir. Yum.
• Dollar Spot. Buy $22 worth of headphones, notebooks, patterned pails and popcorn holders.
• Don't even ask what happened in the jewelry and accessories. 
• Wine. Preferably something a little cheaper than the first glass.
• Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Shoes.
• New Seasonal Clothing. 
• Summer Swimsuit Clearance.
• Jack Daniels Shot - necessary after that dressing room experience.
• Beer Chaser. Jack is rough.
• Home stuff.
• Something about food. 
• Wine. 
• What the hell was I supposed to get here?
• Dear Uber, Come get me. I'm done.
• Arrive home.
• Realize you've spent $347. You're totally sloshed at 2 in the afternoon. You left your car in the parking lot of Target. You lost your list somewhere. And you didn't buy anything that you were supposed to buy. 

Oh, Target. I'm not sure if I love or hate you clever little jerks. I guess I will have to have Uber give me a lift back to your store tomorrow morning so we can discuss it over some Starbucks... or a Bloody Mary. Besides, I think I need mascara.

Pin Stress is For Real

Photo Courtesy Lolly Jane

I often refer to Pinterest as The Land of People Who Are Smarter Than I. Being a person who lives for creativity and inspiration, it's the world's largest proverbial candy store for me. However, with Back To School looming in front of us, my pin feed has turned into one giant ball of intimidation. Colorful photos boast titles that promise to make you the coolest of the cool. Back to School ideas that you absolutely MUST try are everywhere. Popsicles wishing all the students a cool school year, teacher photo frames made from pencils, survival kits, lunch notes, and bento boxes that are sure to impress have officially taken over the world.

Pinterest is a beautiful thing, but the pressure to perform for our children and their teachers has only fueled the fire that already exists amongst parents to compete and creates a whole new level of sanctimommy that you were sure that you wouldn't have to face again once you got past the breastfeeding vs bottle feeding and disposable vs cloth diapers stage. Suddenly, without even knowing what happened, you're measuring your worth as a parent by how many unique, amazing, and creative ways you can impress a classroom full of children and the teacher who is there to help them learn.

Why is it that parents, especially women, are so insistent on turning everything into a competition? We look around ourselves, and we see that Jimmy's mom sends love notes every day in his lunchbox, so we assume that our child doesn't feel as loved as Jimmy. We notice that Matthew's mom always looks incredibly beautiful, so our child must feel embarrassed when we come in looking like we just came off a three day bender. Then there is Alyssa's mom, who works out two hours a day, everyday, and we realize our child must be ashamed that we are still wearing the same size that we wore when we were nine months pregnant...four years ago. And let's not forget that one parent that every child in the school knows and adores, because she is ALWAYS there. In fact, you're fairly certain that she secretly lives there, taking showers in the sinks of the girl's hall bathroom, but you can't actually prove it. We become so consumed with comparing ourselves to everyone around us, that we lose sight of who we are and where our talents and treasures lie.

Pinterest is a tool, in which many wonders and ideas lie within. No one person could ever do even one percent of the projects that exist on that site. And frankly, it's not designed to be conquered the way that you conquered Super Mario Bros level by level in 1991. Pinterest is a catalog. When you sort through Amazon, you don't feel pressure and stress to buy every single item on their page to prove your worth. You pick and choose the items that are best suited to your taste, style, and budget, and you leave the rest there for someone else to purchase to suit her taste, style, and budget. We all need to be treating Pinterest, and everything else in our little parenting world, the exact same way.

Sift through Pinterest and find the items that you will actually enjoy doing - not just the things that "look pretty" or are clever. If you find yourself overwhelmed, it actually is okay to delete pins that you think are unachievable for you or are just not interesting to you any longer. It is okay to look at a pin and think, "Well isn't that cute?" and to keep scrolling. Pinterest is there to enhance the areas where you are strong, and to improve any areas that you want to work on. It is not intended to create a competition or pressure to perform like a trained monkey. Pinterest is a resource, and it is perfectly fine to use it as just that - a supplement to what you're already doing anyway.

As we all move towards Back to School, as with everything else in your life, come to realize that your kids love you just as you are. You don't have to "MAKE ALL THE THINGS!" for them to be proud of you. So keep up the amazing work, don't worry about the fact that you're in sweats in the pick up line for the third day in a row, and nevermind that back to school crafting noise if it doesn't fit your agenda. You just keep doing you, Mama. You've got this.

We Are What We Repeatedly Do - The Future of This Blog

Hi. My name is Deanna. I am a textbook free spirit. I am happiest when I am creating - music, writing, crafting, baking, building... if creativity is involved, I'm in my prime. With great freedom and great creativity comes an rigid inability to be, well, rigid. A structured lifestyle has a way of stumping my creative thinking, but being 100% fluid doesn't bode well with actually accomplishing anything. It's a vicious cycle.

What I'm learning about myself is that greatness is achieved not through structure, but through repetition. We are what we repeatedly do. And by giving myself the "freedom" to be creative, I'm also giving myself permission to fail. Thus, being a free spirit is in and of itself, a conundrum, and I'm frankly a bit exhausted by the struggle that it creates for me.

I am a free spirit. I am creative. I am happiest when I'm creating. So why am I allowing my lack of ability to be anything other than fluid to keep me from achieving what makes me happy? It doesn't make any sense. Netflix and coloring books are great for the anxiety, but I'm getting nowhere in life by staying submersed in them. And worse, I'm holding myself back from achieving the happiness that I experience by being creative. The result? The past few weeks, I've spent my days restless. It's the same feeling that you get when you're starving because you haven't eaten all day, but absolutely nothing sounds appetizing. I'm starting here.

This blog just sits here, begging to be updated. I make excuses: I don't know what people will want to read. I don't have a defined topic for the blog. It's small and has been severely neglected, so it would be fruitless. Even so, I'm taking it on. I'm going to use this blog as a place to write regularly, as a way to guide my unstructured free spirit towards some structure and a way to make sure that I'm feeling accomplished and satisfied, as opposed to hiding behind laziness and claiming failure. I can't tell you what I will write about. I can't know for sure if I will be sharing random thoughts or health and fitness updates or crafty successes or minifarm madness or parenting disasters. I just know, that without fail, I'm going to make myself show up here. Regularly. And I will be putting something out there for someone or no one to read.

We are what we repeatedly do. I am going to repeatedly write. I am a writer, and I'm done letting fear of failure rule my life and send me into hiding. All systems ignite. Prepared for takeoff.